You're Saint Onslo?

The Player is doing much better. I believe he is fit for travel. ... Quite a contraption this hyperbaric chamber of yours.

It ain't mine, it's Marge's! She used to sleep in the damn things.

OK, men, let's hit the tunnels. Lead the way, Liker. And no funny business!

And how, exactly, do you define funny business? Would I tell a joke or maybe wear a stupid hat and nose?

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

I'll show you what it means, jackass!

Easy! ... Save your hostility for Old Donovan. You're going to need it. And Newman, too.

Which one should we save our hostility for, Old Donovan or Newman? Should we save some of our hostility for Old Donovan and some for Newman, or should some of us save all of our hostility for Old Donovan and the rest of us save all of our hostility for Newman?

Perhaps we should first save all of our hostility for Old Donovan and then work up a fresh round of hostility for Newman.

I like that! Although I'm not very hostile.

And what about Saint Onslo? Should, maybe, one of us save half their hostility for him -- or maybe all of us save, say, 10 percent?

OK, stop! Forget the hostility. Let's just find Onslo so he can lead us to Old Donovan and he can lead us to Parallel Time where we will stop Newman.

Should all of us forget all of our hostility, or ...

That's enough! This is torture!

Torture? Oh, well that just takes the prize, doesn't it?

Onslo! We've been looking for you.

Saint Onlslo, patron saint of the urban underground, at your service.

You're Saint Onslo?

He looks like a damn bum!

Oh, nice.

I'm sorry, but you've been downgraded. You're no longer a saint.

Downgraded? By who?

By Jesus.

By Jesus? Just who does he think he is anyway?

Why, he's Jesus! You know, The Almighty.

Well I never voted for him. ... Since when is Jesus in charge of saints?

Since forever and ever?

Listen here, Mr. Onslo. Do you know where we can find someone called Old Donovan?

Well, since I've been downgraded -- without so much as the courtesy of a phone call I might add -- maybe you should get some official saint to help you. Some sainted card-carrying member of the Jesus party. ... Downgraded? That's bloody perfect, isn't it?

Maybe you could appeal?

Appeal? Like some of them wretched old Irish saints that the pointy-hatted Roman bishops swept out the door? I don't think so.

I hate to interrupt, but we need to locate Old Donovan as soon as possible. The fate of heaven is in our hands!

The fate of heaven? Oh, that just takes the cake, doesn't it? What, God's afraid he might get downgraded? ... And what would you want with Old Donovan anyways? Nasty piece of work, that one. He'll chew you up and spit you out, he will.

Damn! Jesus said he'd eat me alive!

That would suck -- not!

Down, Rufus! Why don't you go chew on some of them damn bones?

Enough! Will you help us find Donovan or not? ... I could always torture you.

You're torturing me now, mate. Don't make me lose me patience ....

Oh, please help us Saint Onslo! Pleeeease?

Well, since you asked me nicely. Perhaps I can help. ... For a price. How much money ya got then?

I'm said to have millions, but being a statue ... I find myself a bit short.

I don't have any damn money. I'm dead. Jesus wouldn't even let me in the Diamond Club.

I'm afraid angels don't have any worldly possessions.

I don't have any pockets.

Don't look at me! I'm college student.

Pathetic. Look, I have 45 bucks. That's it.

That's a start. That's a nice ring. Hand it over. And the watch, too.

My secret decoder ring and my two-way wristwatch? Wouldn't it be easier to just torture him?

Just hand it over, Dick Tracy.

Pleasure doing business with you gents! Now where were we ... ah Old Donovan. Why anybody would want to find that old troll is beyond me ...

So you know this Old Donovan? Why do you call him a troll?

Technically speaking, he's not a troll, but he does guard the passage to Parallel Time. And I think he's registered with the Troll Bridge Commission as well. ...

You know anbout Parallel Time? Does everyone know about Parallel Time but me?

I may be downgraded but there's not much goes on down here in the underground I don't know about. ... So Old Donovan guards the passage and he doesn't want anyone to cross it. He'd as soon kill ya as look at ya.

So how do we defeat him?

Ya can't defeat him, chum. He's been guardin that passage for ages. What ya do is ... outsmart him. You see, he'll challenge you when you reach the passage. He'll tell you to go away or he'll kill ya. But you tell him you plan to cross over to Parallel Time. Then he'll have to ask you some questions -- those are the rules of the Troll Bridge Commission -- if you get a question wrong, he'll send ya straight to hell. But if ya get three questions right, he'll have to let you pass.

Does anyone ever get three questions right?

Never. ... Never, that is, until last week. This sea monster lady from Monaco came through here and answered the three questions and popped straight through without a hitch.

So there's hope! Oh, thank you so much Saint Onslo! I will tell Jesus myself how you helped us and ask that you be reinstated.

You do that. And tell him I wouldn't mind bein able to fly either. ... And I'd like some decent tea.

One last thing, Onslo. How do we find Old Donovan?

Simple. Just follow the green signs with the arrows that say Parallel Time.

Just follow the signs?

Sorry. I guess I never noticed the signs.

You owe me a decoder ring. ... Get moving. And no monkey business!