Monday, June 1, 2009

Is that a screwdriver in your pocket?

Tell me what you want now or the angel gets it.

We're not here to hurt you. As a token of good faith I'm going to unplug the power drill that I intend to use shortly on your kneecap. See? It's unplugged.

It's cordless.

Be that as it may. Now I need a token of your good faith. Put down the ring bologna, let the angel go and come down here and let me torture you.

Eww! He smooshed the ring bologna in my hair!

Quiet, Bubbles! You all have five seconds to clear out of my basement or I throw down the fish and chips. And take that Player bum with you!

Have some compassion, sir. We have an injured man down here. He's covered in fuzzy black beans and he's going into shock.

Did you know he tried to microwave one of my cats?

Nice ...

Everything ... is ... getting ... dark. I see a tunnel. At the end of the tunnel is ... Steve Young? ... Throw me the damn ball, a-hole!

He's delirious!

Listen here, Mr. Liker. The rancid contents of your refrigerator will have little effect on me. This violence is not necessary. We just want to know how to contact Old Donovan. He's supposed to be down in these tunnels somewhere in some sort of comfort station.

Well you took a wrong turn, Trexler. I don't know any Old Donovan.

Donovan? Donovan ... my friend ... is ... it ... really ... you? Throw me the damn ball! Don't get sick, Donovan. Throw me the damn ball!

He's doing sit-ups! He needs help!

Listen, I don't even use those tunnels, except maybe to go the the Brew Works. ... But there may be a guy ... I met a crazy vagrant down there a couple of times. He said he lives in the tunnels. He thinks he's a saint. He calls himself Onslo. Maybe he can help you.

St. Onslo? There used to be a St. Onslo. He was the patron saint of the urban underground. ... But he was downgraded.

Where do we find this Onslo?

I usually see him hanging around beneath the Hotel Grand or under the Hofbrau House.

Perhaps you could show us the way?

First tell Agent 86 here to put the drill back in its box. And lose the screwdriver, too.
What about the Player?

Toss him in that hyperbaric chamber with some extra strength Dawn. That'll take care of anything. ... Better set it for delicate.
Jeff Garcia? If it smell like a rat, it ... must ... be ... a ... rat.

You wouldn't have really used that ring bologna on me would you?

Nah. I was planning to eat it. ... Hey, is that a screwdriver in your pocket?
Maybe.

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