Honey! I'm hoooome!

Helldog here .... I don't know if you're picking this up, but I have a confirmed Marge sighting moving north on S. Fifth Street, crossing Union.

I don't see her yet here at Ninth and Hamilton, but I can hear her. She seems to be taunting St. Michael the Archangel, who is still hiding out inside the closed-down Daro's Extreme Fitness.

Honey! I'm hoooome! Yooo hooo!

She seems to be carrying something.... OK, it's two armloads of buses. I assume she got them from Bicentennial Park because she also appears to have the foul pole.... The left field foul pole I believe.

Still no sign of her dance partner.... He must be doing some curls. He's been a little outta sorts since getting that shot of steroids. ... OK. I see Marge now. Here she comes.

Oh Michael, come out! Don't be shy, my dear. Come and visit with Marge. Oh my! What have we here?



Ladies and gentlemen, Marge has stopped at the lifeless body of her brother Ronan, slain earlier by St. Michael after Ronan was attacked by the Trexler statue. She's talking to him.

Poor baby brother. As our dear mother used to say, it's all fun and games until someone loses an eye, or eyes as it were.

Still no sign of Michael, but the Irish Tenor has gone over to Daro's to see what's going on.

Ah! It's himself. Marge is waitin, lad. Michael, what are ye doin hiding in Daro's?

Do my arms look bigger to you? I don't trust this mirror; it makes me look skinny.

Begorrah, lad. Marge is destroyin' the city and she's comin' for ye. Ye got to get out there and put her in her place!

My pecs are definitely popping. Wouldn't you say?

Lad, I don't even know what that is.

I could use some protein. ... I wonder where The Player keeps those protein bars of his?

Ah! There you are. If you need protein why not eat your little Leprechaun friend here? If you don't, I will, though I do find Irish cuisine to be somewhat bland.

Begorrah! Help me lad. She's got me in her clutches!

Enough already! You're giving me a headache. I don't have time for this; I gotta get a workout in.

Helldog here.... I'm outside of Daro's Extreme Fitness. Marge has taken one of our broadcasters, the Irish Tenor, and is about to eat him! Strangely, St. Michael appears disinterested.

Jeez would you people shut the hell up??? I'm starting to get really pissed off.

Red Devil here.... Tenor, can you hear me?

Aye, lad, I can indeed.

I detect a bit of 'roid rage in your pal, there. Your best bet might be to piss him off.

Aye. ... Oh Michael, now that ye mention it ... I don't think it's the mirror. I think yer arms seem a wee frail. ...

What?

... and them pecs of yours ... are a bit ... poofy.

Poofy????

And, if I may, Saint Poofypecs, you appear to be a bit loose in the loin cloth. Do you even have testicles? Perhaps you would like to borrow one of my frocks.

Helldog here.... Um, I think Marge just pissed off St. Michael. He's about as red as I am right now. ... Wait a second ... she just swallowed the Irish Tenor!

Saints preserve us!

Saint Poofypecs? ... You no-good, lousy-rotten demon! I got your poofypecs right here, Marge. Feel the bite of my terrible swift sword!

Promises, promises.... Ouch! Oh my. ...That does sting somewhat, actually.

Oh my, indeed! With one swift thrust of his sword, Michael has just eviscerated Marge.... I'm not sure she even saw it coming.

How's that for poofy pecs, Marge?

Hellcat, I believe I just saw a red, gooey mass fall from Marge's gut. Would those be her entrails, or liver, perhaps?

I can't tell .... Wait. I think it's the Irish Tenor. ... Yes it is. It's the Irish Tenor, Devil.

Jaysus, Mary and Joseph. Saints be praised!

Folks, I think Michael's about to finish her off. ... No, wait. He's going back inside the gym. ...

It must be this mirror. ... My pecs really aren't poofy are they?

Uh-oh. He's letting her get away. Marge has jammed shut the door to the gym with the foul pole foul and is on the move. She's heading your way, Devil.

Uh-oh? Did you say "uh-oh"? You and me hafta talk, Helldog.

Sorry, Devil. I just got caught up in the moment. ... Can you see Marge?

She just passed me at Ninth and Hamilton. She's dropped a couple of buses and she's holding her gut ... that wound looks like the one that did Ronan in. ... She just disappeared behind the Soldiers and Sailors Monument. Maybe you can fly over toward Sixth Street, Helldog, and pick her up there.

On it, Devil. .... Got her. ... She's on Sixth Steet. She's losing a lot of blood, but she's pulling the steel beams out of the Cosmopolitan construction site. Unless I've missed my mark It looks like the final battle between good and evil will be fought at Sixth and Linden.