First off, I was unprepared for the oppressive heat of this god forsaken place. Mr. Dodger, complaining every step of the way, and Karl carried me first to 9th and Hamilton streets, where I saw the future League of Justice. This 20-story building is quite drab but it will be perfectly appropriate for launching criminals to their punishment. However, the building is apparently infested with vultures or some type of screeching bird. Those will have to be exterminated at once.
My assistants then carried me to the Allentown Brew Works. Normally Marge would not be found at such an establishment, but I was overcome by curiosity as this was the last place my predecessor on this blog was seen alive. Though pleasant enough, that den of iniquity shall have to be razed to the ground, if only to dispel the stench it carries from its association with He Whose Name Shall Not Be Spoken.
Next I was carried to the corner of 8th and Hamilton where I am quite sure I heard the Spanish language spoken. I immediately alerted a so-called law enforcement officer that King Juan Carlos of Spain may have operatives doing his bidding in this city, but I was virtually ignored. I plan to report that officer for a variety of offenses, not the least of which is riding a bicycle while on duty!
Next I was taken to an eatery called Johnny something -- a Mexican restaurant! Perhaps the Spaniards are masquerading as Mexicans and this is their base of operations! Rest assured, Marge shall keep a close eye on this situation. Juan Carlos was a traitor to my dear friend Gen. Franco and to fascists everywhere and his influence shall not be tolerated in my city!
At this point in the tour I was rather overcome and was rushed back to headquarters for resuscitation.
While I cannot formulate my entire plan on one brief foray into the heart of darkness as it were, my keen mind is swimming in ideas. First off, nearly the entire area must be razed and replaced with glittering boutiques and spas and whatnot. Also, there appear to be a great many poor people about. Marge has always been magnanimous with those less-blessed souls among us. I think they should be relocated to the forests where they can forage and live happily in their natural state. Thirdly, the situation with Spain must be addressed. I believe the Patriot Act may come into play here.
The Spanish Armada could be lurking off our shores at this moment, ready to strike! Marge will not be caught unprepared.
Coraje, mis amigos.
4 comments:
How do you plan to raze the city?
Perhaps grants (cardboard Checks) from territorial Governor Rendell? maybe the Player would be willing to restructure his contract to enable your mission?
Rest assured, Mr. Casey, I have given careful thought to the issue, but for now I shall keep my own counsel.
I wouldn't worry about how Marge will destroy the city, but when she will destroy the city. If it could be said that Marge possesses any talent, then she has a talent for destruction.
Thank you, little polar bear. If you were a flesh and blood creature, and not some spectre vermin from the spirit world, I would hang you in my living room. Ta-ta.
Post a Comment