... Also in lower Bucks County residents along the Delaware reported that some sort of sea monster in the river was attacking and eating their pets. A Bucks County wildlife official said, "How the hell would I know what it is?" Well, Ed on a beautiful day like this I guess a walk along the River would be pretty nice.
Yeah, sure, right. So the weather out there is nice -- 78 degrees, mostly sunny, blah blah blah -- OK, fine, whatever. But what if it were 60 degrees colder with a huge, humid air mass moving in from the south? All hell would break loose in the
Lehigh Valley.
There'd be upwards of 45 inches of snow. Traffic would be paralyzed. Buildings would be pulverized. Those who do survive would be trapped in their homes, forced to subsist through cannibalism in many cases. Bridges and highways would collapse under the weight of the snow and ice, avalanches along South Mountain would obliterate several communities. Fires would burn out of control, there would be rampant looting and lawlessness and a complete breakdown of social conventions. Did I mention cannibalism? All infrastructure would be crushed and all communications would be down across the Northeast and Midwest. The federal government would be crippled and most of our national defense system would fail. Mexico would most likely annex southern California, Arizona and New Mexico; Texas would declare independence; and Cuba would move against southern Florida, annexing South Beach and taking countless actors, entertainers and celebrity chefs hostage. In short, it would be a mess out there folks. Tomorrow looks pretty good -- partly cloudy with a high of 81. Whatever. Rob?
Good night and thanks for watching. ... Are we clear? Hey you want a piece a me big guy, I'm right here.
I will slap you silly.
... Also in lower Bucks County residents along the Delaware reported that some sort of sea monster in the river was attacking and eating their pets. A Bucks County wildlife official said, "How the hell would I know what it is?" Well, Ed on a beautiful day like this I guess a walk along the River would be pretty nice.
Yeah, sure, right. So the weather out there is nice -- 78 degrees, mostly sunny, blah blah blah -- OK, fine, whatever. But what if it were 60 degrees colder with a huge, humid air mass moving in from the south? All hell would break loose in the Lehigh Valley. There'd be upwards of 45 inches of snow. Traffic would be paralyzed. Buildings would be pulverized. Those who do survive would be trapped in their homes, forced to subsist through cannibalism in many cases. Bridges and highways would collapse under the weight of the snow and ice, avalanches along South Mountain would obliterate several communities. Fires would burn out of control, there would be rampant looting and lawlessness and a complete breakdown of social conventions. Did I mention cannibalism? All infrastructure would be crushed and all communications would be down across the Northeast and Midwest. The federal government would be crippled and most of our national defense system would fail. Mexico would most likely annex southern California, Arizona and New Mexico; Texas would declare independence; and Cuba would move against southern Florida, annexing South Beach and taking countless actors, entertainers and celebrity chefs hostage. In short, it would be a mess out there folks. Tomorrow looks pretty good -- partly cloudy with a high of 81. Whatever. Rob?
Good night and thanks for watching. ... Are we clear? Hey you want a piece a me big guy, I'm right here.
I will slap you silly.
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