A profile in courage

The battle continues as Marge follows the sea monster around the corner onto 9th Street. Marge got off to a quick start in this match, but the sea monster has responded with a couple of devastating blows, biting off the head of Marge's lone remaining henchman and then hitting Marge with a Smart Car right in the keister!

Aye, perhaps Marge underestimated the creature.

Perhaps. ... Uh-oh. What's this? The sea monster appears to be distracted. ... She's turned her back on Marge and is looking in the window of Robata of Tokyo. Oh my I think she's caught the scent of sashimi.

Aye, I believe it's a fine fatty toro she's smellin, lad. While I prefer a grand Irish salmon from the Fanad coast, they say most sea monsters prefer the fatty belly loins of the bluefin tuna.

Is that what they say? ... And speaking of belly loins you still haven't explained that scene in the Brew Works yet. Wait. ... Sensing an opportunity, Marge has picked up a yellow Head Start bus, no kiddies aboard as far as I can tell. ... Oh my! Marge has crushed the sea monster under the bus. Wait ... she's picking it up again and ... oh my! ... she's slammed it down on the monster a second time. Just a second now ... she is picking up the bus again. The sea monster is now inside the destroyed vehicle and seems to be unconscious. ... Marge is throwing the bus -- sea monster and all -- toward Walnut Street.

Are me eyes playin tricks on me, devil?

No they aren't, Mr. Irish Tenor. Marge has thrown the bus into the new townhouses on Walnut Street and the three rows of them just fell like dominoes! Oh my! Could the sea monster have possibly survived?

Faith and begorrah! There she is!

Ladies and gentlemen, we are witnessing a profile in courage. It's nothing short of that. This will go down as one of the greatest monster vs. demon fights in the history of Allentown. ... The sea monster has emerged from the burning ruins of the Zawarski town homes and she's making her way straight toward Marge, who seems taken aback! ... The sea monster lunges at Marge, and they both disappear as they grapple inside the empty La Belle Cuisine store, which promptly collapses on top of them, along with the adjoining buildings! Such destruction!

Look, devil, she's got a big fry pan on her head!

That's right. ... Marge has staggered out of the rubble. On her head is a large copper paella pan. This is one fine piece of culinary hardware, folks. ... Here comes the sea monster climbing out after her. She takes the pan from Marge's head and -- BAM -- right in the kisser. Marge appears to be staggered. The sea monster grabs the collar on Marge's frock and throws her head-first into the eye doctor's office across the street, and that building comes down as well. This neighborhood is sure taking a beating, folks. ... OK, she's got Marge by the collar again and she's aiming her toward the Garden Gate health food store. Not good -- I was planning to pick up a Power Sandwich there later. ... Ouch! The monster has just put Marge's head through the brick wall. Now she's forcing Marge to drink gallons of soy milk! Oh my! This could be the end.

I believe soy milk in that quantity could throw Marge's hormones out of whack, devil, as well as lead to some potential health problems down the road.

I'll take your word for it. Now what's she doing? ... It appears the sea monster has uprooted a streetlight from Hamilton Street and, and, are you kidding me? The sea monster has impaled Marge on the street light and pole, Christmas decorations and all. We are witnessing a huge upset, folks. The sea monster has apparently beaten Marge at her own game and impaled the impaler.

Saints preserve us! Marge is smiling, even though she's been run through with a light pole. That's a fine big set of bloody teeth she's got.

Folks, I don't believe what I am seeing. Marge is pulling the light standard out of her body and her gaping wound appears to be healing before our eyes!

Begorrah, the wee Christmas tree is sticking out of her belly and it's still lit! Saints preserve us, I'm in need of a wee drop of something.

Have some soy milk .... Now, Marge is on her feet and pointing the light standard right at the sea monster, just like Ryan Howard does before striking out. She takes a mighty swing and ... Oh my! It's a long drive! Watch this baby. ... Um, well, OK, it didn't go that far after all. But Marge has swatted the sea monster across the parking lot and into the upper floors at the rear of the Butz building, where she disappears inside amid the ringing cacophony of broken glass.

Aye, a regular ringing cacophony it is.

Now Marge is eyeing up that helicopter parked on the roof. ... Folks, this match is far from over. ...