In an abandoned comfort station buried deep beneath the burning ruins of Renaissance Square, a group of brave travelers confronts Old Donovan, the protector of the last remaining conduit to Parallel Time. Rudolph and Gen. Trexler have failed the test and paid with their eternal souls. The Little Angel has been banished to The Macungies. Atown-Liker must spell humuhumunukunukuapuaa or face the consequences.
You want to buy a vowel?
Yes, a vowel please.
Fine. You shall have your vowel, but at a cost: Your eternal soul. You will have only one question.
Sweet! I'll take a U.
Very well. Your soul is mine.
Um, about that. There's some ongoing litigation involved. ... But you can have whatever's left.
Here is your word: -u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u--u--. Spell it now!
Hmmm. I'd like to buy an H
You cannot buy an H. An H is not even a vowel!
Oh yeah? Then how come you say something is an honor instead of a honor? Why do you call someone an heir or an heiress and not a heiress. The article an goes before a vowel!
You are doomed, and a fool as well. H is a consonant. In this case it's silent so the an to which you refer applies to the second letter in the word: O
Oh.
But you may have your H. You'll never spell the word anyway. Here is your word: hu-uhu-u-u-u-u-u--u--.
I'd like a lifeline, please.
A lifeline? There are no lifelines!
I'd like to poll the audience.
Poll ...? Fine, whatever. Audience?
I don't know and I don't care, bonehead. That freak dumped some smelly old beans on me!
Humuhumunukunukuapuaa. It's spelled h-u-m-u-h-u-m-u-n-u-k-u-n-u-k-u-a-p-u-a-a. It's a fish. It can be used as a weapon.
What, are you on drugs? ... I'd like to solve the puzzle.
Puzzle?
What is hunka hunka burnin love?
I don't understand you. He was right. He spelled it right!
Final answer!
Fine. You are the weakest link. Off to hell with you, though I'm not sure I even want you in my hell.
Hold on there, Old Donovan!
Now what?
I believe this man just asked you a question. And I didn't hear any answer. According to the Troll Bridge Commission bylaws, if he asks you a question, you have to answer it. Otherwise, he gets to go to Parallel Time.
Yeah! What he said!
Question? I answered his question. The H is silent.
What is hunka hunka burnin love?
I have no idea.
Then it looks like the wrong person may be going to hell. Let me recite for you Chapter 6, Section 4, Paragraph 3 of the bylaws of the Troll Bridge Commission, from memory: "Herein be it resolved that the aforementioned Bridge Troll, henceforth to be known as the party of the second part ..."
Stop! Stop or you all go to hell right now!
What's it gonna be Donovan?
Damn you all! ... All right. This one may pass to Parallel Time. The party of the first part shall wait for me in the second stall. ... These two still have more questions to answer.
I'd like Door No. 1, please.
You want to buy a vowel?
Yes, a vowel please. Fine. You shall have your vowel, but at a cost: Your eternal soul. You will have only one question. Sweet! I'll take a U. Very well. Your soul is mine. Um, about that. There's some ongoing litigation involved. ... But you can have whatever's left. Here is your word: -u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u--u--. Spell it now! Hmmm. I'd like to buy an H You cannot buy an H. An H is not even a vowel! Oh yeah? Then how come you say something is an honor instead of a honor? Why do you call someone an heir or an heiress and not a heiress. The article an goes before a vowel! You are doomed, and a fool as well. H is a consonant. In this case it's silent so the an to which you refer applies to the second letter in the word: O Oh. But you may have your H. You'll never spell the word anyway. Here is your word: hu-uhu-u-u-u-u-u--u--. I'd like a lifeline, please. A lifeline? There are no lifelines! I'd like to poll the audience. Poll ...? Fine, whatever. Audience?
I don't know and I don't care, bonehead. That freak dumped some smelly old beans on me!
Humuhumunukunukuapuaa. It's spelled h-u-m-u-h-u-m-u-n-u-k-u-n-u-k-u-a-p-u-a-a. It's a fish. It can be used as a weapon. What, are you on drugs? ... I'd like to solve the puzzle. Puzzle? What is hunka hunka burnin love? I don't understand you. He was right. He spelled it right! Final answer! Fine. You are the weakest link. Off to hell with you, though I'm not sure I even want you in my hell. Hold on there, Old Donovan! Now what? I believe this man just asked you a question. And I didn't hear any answer. According to the Troll Bridge Commission bylaws, if he asks you a question, you have to answer it. Otherwise, he gets to go to Parallel Time. Yeah! What he said! Question? I answered his question. The H is silent.What is hunka hunka burnin love?I have no idea. Then it looks like the wrong person may be going to hell. Let me recite for you Chapter 6, Section 4, Paragraph 3 of the bylaws of the Troll Bridge Commission, from memory: "Herein be it resolved that the aforementioned Bridge Troll, henceforth to be known as the party of the second part ..." Stop! Stop or you all go to hell right now! What's it gonna be Donovan? Damn you all! ... All right. This one may pass to Parallel Time. The party of the first part shall wait for me in the second stall. ... These two still have more questions to answer.I'd like Door No. 1, please. 
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