Long live the Olympics

Purity. Body. Flavor. Long live the Olympics!

He was jealous

What's wrong, Carrot Top?


Oh, some mean dude said I look like Chucky.

You know what? He was probably jealous of your big arms.

That's probably right! He was jealous. Look at me. I am so ripped!

Damn right. You are huge, my man. He was so jealous. So what if you've had a little work done. You look great!


I bet he can't do this!

Man, I would kill for your eyebrows. In fact, I might.


Hey, I heard there's a new post on Parallel Time.

My arms are huge!

Here we are! The corner of Seventh and Hamilton. No sign of the massive destruction you've described in non-Alternate Allentown.

And no signs of that evil bitch Marge! ... Um. ... No offense intended, Mrs. Egram.

None taken, my toad. ... And this must be the stairway that leads to the subterranean comfort station.

Wait, this nothing but a tattoo parlor!

And a pawn shop! Can I help you dudes?

Sir, are you the one known as Old Donovan?

Nope. Hey, look! My arms are huge!

Be that as it may, I must insist that you take us either to Old Donovan or to the portal that leads to Parallel Time.

You dudes are trippin'!

I assure you, sir, that I am neither a dude nor have I stumbled in any way. Our feet are firmly planted beneath us, young man -- or whatever you may be. Please convey us to Old Donovan immediately or suffer the consequences!

Dudes, I don't know what you're talking about.

Listen, Chucky, you don't want to mess with this lady. ...

Pardon me, Madame. Might I be of assistance?

You might, if you are Old Donovan.

I'm afraid not, madame. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Bramwell.

Hmmm. You looks kinda familiar.

Looks, you may find, can be deceiving my, dimwitted new friend. ... I am afraid you will not find Old Donovan here. ... At least not in this timeline.

What do you know of alternate timelines?

Hey, who you callin' Chucky?

Shhh.

You'll find I know quite a bit about time. Parallel Time, Alternate timelines, metaphasic time. ...

Can you help us to reach Parallel Time?


Let us discuss it over a cup of tea. ... Madame, have you ever heard of the I Ching?

I Ching?

Gesundheit, Dude!

It's good to be home

Ah! It's good to be home.

Father! Father! You've returned! And dear Maxwell! Oh joy!

My dear Meg. I always knew you would get a speaking part some day!

But if you were to utter the words 'Oh joy' another time, I suspect that would change rather quickly.

This is our friend Mrs. Egram. She has helped us return home after our long journey into the future! It is 1868 isn't it?

Oh, father. Don't jest. You've only been gone for two hours!

Two hours? We've been gone for over a year!

Hmm. Anbody notice anythin' differnt 'bout Truman? Mmm.

Good heavens! He's human once again!

Truman! You are back!

Indeed I am! It must be because I stepped through the time portal in the same direction two times in a row! .... Though I must say, I rather enjoyed being a flying polar bear rug, gliding though time and space. ...

This is all very interesting, I'm sure, but it is imperative that we return to Alternate Time and speak to Mr. Old Donovan about travelling to Parallel Time.

Meg, did Miss Emily ever return?

No, father. We were playing hide-and-go-seek and she simply vanished. We thought she had hidden herself in that old blanket chest but we have not been able to open it.

Strange. ... I wonder where she could have gotten to?

..........................................................

Oh, I don't think I like it here at all!