This is war!

So, Michael the Archangel thinks I am useless? I'll show him. I can do more than change diapers. ... I will save Allentown myself -- with the help of its greatest military hero, its bronze warrior, Harry C. Trexler! . ... Gen. Trexler, wake up! Your city needs you!

Who has disturbed me? ... How is this possible?


I am your guardian angel. Allentown is under attack by the Spanish Armada.


But we won the Spanish-American War. I should know, I was there. Wait ... my guardian angel? Where were you when I was in the car crash that killed me? Surely you could have warned my driver that a truck had stopped on the crest of that hill. ...


I am so sorry about that. You see, I had broken a lute string and, well ... I suppose it was an oversight. But let's not talk about the past. The important thing is that your city faces certain destruction if you don't use your military skills to stop the Spanish Armada. You've defeated the Spanish before ...


No, no, no. I'm not a fighter. I was a glorified clerk. A factotum with an undeserved military rank. I was in charge of the commissary in Puerto Rico. I was only made a general in the Pennsylvania National Guard because I was wealthy. I have no military skills. ... Did you say a lute?


Forget the lute. Focus. Your city is under attack. Don't you hear the cannon fire? Your own PP&L tower is being ruined as we speak.

My building? My beautiful building? Ho, Jack of Diamonds, come about, my faithful steed. We have been called to serve once again! ... What about my trolley company? Has that been attacked as well?


Um, it's ... gone, yes. ... Completely gone.


Damn Spaniards! Show the way angel; this is war!