That's important ... isn't it?

We're back, ladies and gentlemen. Thanks for tuning in. Red Devil here broadcasting from our newest hell portal at 6th and Linden where we are about to witness the final battle between good and evil. Helldog, what do you think of this beautiful facility?

It's just gorgeous, Red Devil. We're sharing the place with the federal prosecutors now and those guys are lots of fun.

Didn't there used to be a newspaper here somewhere?

Yes. There still is in a corner over by the printing presses. Actually, see those two guys down the hall looking out the window? I think they're in charge.

Hey fellas. I'm not one to tell another guy how to run his business, but the final battle between good and evil is about to take place right across the street. Shouldn't you be covering it?

Are we covering this, Mike?

Ah, we're gonna catch up with it tomorrow, Dave.

Well, jeez Mike, I don't know. ... The final battle between good and evil. I mean, that's important ... isn't it?

Big news day, Dave. I can't spare anybody today to cover it. We're swamped. Besides, nobody cares about Marge anymore.

What's Manny doing?

Dumpster fire in Moore Township.

Is that a big deal?

They saved some puppies. We have video.

Puppy video? Cool. Where is Moore Township anyway?

Who cares? We have puppy video!

What about Callaway, does he still work here?

Special assignment. ... Remember the kid who rented a horse and carriage to take his girlfriend to the prom?

Who could forget that? Compelling stuff. Just compelling.

Well, it's the three-month anniversary of that story. We're doing a retrospective.

Enough said. What about Hartzell?

No can do. They're filling some potholes on 22. We have video.

Pothole video. ... Sweet! Can we borrow somebody from sports?

Can't do it. They're following that IronPigs dog that got lost a few months ago. We got a tip he might run away again. He's wearing a collar cam.

An investigative piece! Great. ... Howabout an intern? I think we ought to get something on this final battle thing. I think Chicago gave us another three inches in the news section tonight.

Hmm. I'll see if I can shake somebody loose. Let me get on the horn to the newsroom. ... Who's got three inches for me tonight? I need three inches for my news hole! ... What? Your kidding! ... This is great stuff! ... Dave, forget the final battle between good and evil. We have real, actual breaking news!

Seriously?

It's the deep-fried pizza guy! You will not believe what he's frying now!

Puppies? ... Heart medicine? .... What?!?

Fried pizza! He's gonna fry pizza that's already been fried! Can you believe it? He's a freakin' genius!

Ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod!! Where does he come up with this stuff??? Let's get a chopper in the air!

We gotta Tweet this now! ... And somebody get me some video!!

Wow! So this is New Media.