She loves me, she loves me not

Where are we?

This is the North Pole.

Where is Gabriel?

Gabriel is in the custody of the crows.

Let me go, you filthy creatures!

Shall I puck out his eyes?

No! ... That's my job.

Torturing people is wrong, even if they are recently fallen archangels!

It's OK, Miss; I work for the government.

It's not OK. Let me go immediately or Mr. Newman will have your head!

Newman? What does Newman have to do with this?

Newman? Um, I didn't say anything about Mr. Newman. ... I said you would be a new man.

That's it! Give me his flowers. ... Either you talk or I pluck each and every pedal! ... She loves me ... she loves me not ... She loves me ...

Stop! Stop! My beautiful flowers!

Hey! Who's makin all the damn noise out here? Mr. Claus is trying to sleep!

Santa is alive?

What kinda damn angel school did you go to, girl? Of course he's alive. I just said he was trying to sleep, didn't I?

Santa Claus is alive! I knew the old boy would pull through. Is he badly hurt?

Hurt? He's gonna be hurtin' when he wakes up. He's stone cold drunk, Mr. Talking Statue.

But we saw that angel there shoot him down with a missile of some sort.

The crows intervened, Gen. Trexler. We brought Santa and is reindeer safely home.

Not all of the reindeer.

No. Alas, Prancer could not be saved.

You're supposed to be watchin the old man, Rudolph.

... And I told you to take off that stupid nose! It's offensive.

You aint the boss of me, mutt.

Hey! That angel is the one who killed Prancer! ... Let me at him!

Easy, Rudolph. All in good time. First I want to know about Newman.

Newman? I knew he was no good. He's the reason Jesus kicked me outta heaven. I'd like to get my hands on him!

You? You aren't good enough to lick Mr. Newman's boots. None of you are. When he is through Mr. Newman will control heaven and hell.

You dirty son of a bitch!

Santa!

Watch out -- he's got a gun!

Eat lead, you bastard!

No, Santa! Not like this. We need to torture him!

Gabriel is getting away! I shall pursue him.

No, General. It's too cold for you out there! You'll shatter like glass. I'll find him. He can't get far.

Is it Christmas yet? Where are my elves? Where's my vodka?

Damn. We better get you back to bed, granpa.

Yes, old fellow, get some rest.

Mommy .... zzzzzzz.

Rudolph returns -- alone.

Rudolph, where is Gabriel? Did you torture him? What did he tell you?

Nothing. He was eaten by a polar bear.

No one to torture. We're done, then. Toast. All is lost. Zero, zilch, nada. Newman wins.

Notice how there's always a damn polar bear? ... Hey, I got a picture of Newman and some damn dog I stole from his dresser in heaven. Check it out.

Remarkable. But who is that dog?

Ponzi?