Poop! Poop! Poop!

The jackass penguins have arrived.

We hate jackass penguins! They are our enemy, as are the crapface penguins.

We shall attack them!
And slaughter them!

And we shall eat their flesh and pluck out their eyeballs!

POOF! Um ... guys?

Very well, we will not harm them.

But we shall mock them!

We shall mock them and we shall poop on them!


Yes! Poop! Poop! Poop! Caw!

Um ... OK, I can live with that.

Caw! Caw! Poop on jackass penguins!

Oh, yeah. One more thing ... St. Michael the Archangel is going to need a couple of favors. Do whatever he says, OK? ... Later, dudes! ... POOF!

Caw!

You ... have doomed Allentown to destruction

Good Lord, everything is ruined. Everything we have planned for so long has gone for naught. Marge will live and she will destroy everything in her path, including Allentown.... And it is your fault. You and your blasted crows have doomed Allentown to destruction.

I'm terribly sorry Mr. Bear, I truly am. But there must be another way to kill Marge without destroying the crows. These are noble, mythical creatures who seek to foster harmony between man and heaven.

Spare me your inane lecture, you toad. All is lost and the fault lies squarely on your frail green shoulders.

Well, I ...

But father, wait a moment. Remember when I lived in the future and I contacted to my own ghost in the seance? I told myself that you were actually killed when you executed this very attempt on Marge's life. You fell into the canyon and died. However, this time you were spared -- saved by the crows.

It is true. You were saved by the crows. If we were able to change your history, perhaps we can still stop Marge.

You know, she is just standing there at the bottom of this canyon, talking with Truman. Perhaps we could....

Caw, caw!

The crows say no. They say we must go to Lithuania.

Caw, caw!

I'm sorry. Romania. The crows want us to travel to 21st century Romania.

Hello, Marge

Yea gads man, Are you daft? The demon Marge must die here and now. The future is at stake.

No you mustn't. You have to stop what you are doing. There's no time to explain, but if Marge dies and Ronan lives, the crows will be destroyed. He is their mortal enemy in non-Parallel time.

Caw! Caw!

Yes, I'm telling them!

Hmmm. I reckon them crows never hurt nobody.

Karl, I think you should do as he says. Ronan was meant to die here, not Marge. You must roll that boulder away from the cave now. I will fly you down to the bottom of the canyon.

Hmm. I reckon.

No! I forbid it. Maximillian, start rolling the rocks.

Caw! Caw!

This boulder kinda heavy. Hmmm.

Push harder! Push harder! (Lordy, I haven't said that since I died.) The rocks are starting to roll down the side of the cavern! Hurry!

Caw! Caw!

More rocks, quickly. Tip all of the piles! Dash these damn crows. Oh dear, I'm falling! Help!

Father!

Hmmm. Looks like them crows pushed old Max down the side of the canyon. Hmmm. I Reckon they did hurt one person, anyways. Hmmm. ... Hey Truman, I got that boulder moved.

Karl, look out! ... Oh my!

Put me down, you infernal creatures!

Oh heavens! I feel faint. The crows have saved Maximillian from falling into the canyon, but they were too late to stop the rockslide.

Have we killed Marge?

I can't see through the dust. ... Now I see Truman outside the cave, but I don't see Karl or Ronan. Truman seems to be talking to someone ....

Hello Marge.

Time is beginning to thaw, thaw

Ah, so this is what non-Parallel Time is like. I'm not sure why they bothered. Parallel Allentown is much nicer. They don't even have a hockey team here -- and no monorail. Though, with time bein frozen, it's much quieter than our Allentown. ... An speakin of time bein frozen I won't even ask what was goin on in that bar I found ye in. Why were all those people in their underwear?

Begorrah, damned in I know. I was just havin' a sip of uisce beatha.

Well , whatever. Water of life or no, ye better sober up quick because I want ye there to chronicle me battle with Marge. She should be around this corner here somewhere. Do ya notice something funny about that clock up there on the Lutheran Church? I could swear it moved a bit. A Protestant trick no doubt.

No doubt. Saints be praised!

Time is beginning to thaw, thaw.

Aye, these damn crows flyin about and their incessant cawing. ... Who is this fellow being advertised everywhere? O'Bama ... is that a Protestant name?

Aye, Protestant indeed.

Speak of the devil! I just received a report on you.

What, did you grow back that eye already, lad?

Oh, that wasn't me. That was a parallel devil whose eye you plucked out. And he was none too happy about it. And they weren't too happy about how you slipped past hell security, either. Impressed, but not happy. ... I'm strictly a non-parallel devil.

Then what would you want with me, devil? Can't ya see I'm busy.

Not much. I just want a good seat for the fight. I'll be doin' play-by-play for DSPN. There's a lotta interest downstairs in this one. It's 7-1 that Marge eats you again.

Well I don't plan to be anyone's snack this day. I intend to let the sea monster have its shot at Marge while I warm up. It takes a bit of time to get into me warp spasm.

Well you better warm up quick cause I think they just moved.

The Green Guy has been returned to non-Parallel Time in 1868. Time is beginning to thaw.

You seem to be attracting more birds than a garbage barge, there pally. Ever heard of Irish Spring?

Saints be praised! A sea monster is slowly flying through that picture window up ahead!

The fight is on -- albeit in slow motion!


Step outta of the street lad, them cars is beginnin to move! At this rate, the World Series might even resume.

Ahem! ... In this corner, currently flying through the plate glass window very, very slowly, with green scales and matching fins, standing 7 feet tall and weighing in at 380 pounds, fighting out of Monte Carlo, Monaco, the woman who put Prince Albert in the can, the Duchess of Disaster, the SEA MONSTER!!

And in this corner, in the blue house frock, now standing nearly 13 feet tall and weighing about 600 pounds, the Matron of Obliteration, and representing Evil itself, MMMMMMMMARGE!!!!!!