Sunday, November 29, 2009

It's been too long


Dude! It's been too long. How's it going, man?


It's going well, sir, how's everything with you?


Oh, man. You don't want to know. Trust me. The freakin' Crows are out of control!


Yes, I've heard some rumblings.


Would you believe they are planning to steal a sacred Parallel artifact and bring it to non-Parallel Time, destroy the non-Parallel Vatican and try to bring about the Apocalypse?


Jesus, that's messed up! ... er, I mean, That's messed up, Jesus!


Tell me about it. ... I have a couple of guys on it.


Jack Bauer. He's good. ... Oh, speaking of Bauer, I'm sorry that one of my polar bears ate Archangel Gabriel ...


It's cool, dude. Gabriel went rogue. He brought it on himself.


I wasn't myself at the time. I couldn't do anything to stop it. That bear is usually such a good boy. ...


Don't give it another thought. ... So how are you feeling? Are you ready for the big day?


I'm good. I'm good. Little Ronan has helped me work through some of my anger issues and I'm getting my drinking under control, prettymuch. ... Little Ronan's been a godsend. ...


Literally.


... And Mrs. Claus says she might come back to me! ... Things are going good. ... So, speaking of Christmas, I don't think I've seen your list yet. ... Assuming you've been good, got anything in mind?


Well, an iPhone would be awesome. And I wouldn't mind seeing the apocalypse averted. I mean, that's my call, right? Who the heck do those Crows think they are? When the time is right, I'll lower the boom, not some stupid birds. And I went to bat for those Crows I don't know how many times. ... Dude, I'm rambling. Howabout you? Is there anything special you'd like for Christmas?


Well.... Since you asked, you know Prancer was killed by Gabriel, and, well, I'm a little light on flying reindeer. Is there any possibility you could release Rudolph from hell?


Is he still in hell??? Where is my head? He was never supposed to be there in the first place. I was just trying to sell the whole Newman story to Bauer and I guess Old Donovan took it a little too far.


So I can have Rudolph for the sleigh team?


Consider it done. I'll put an extraction team together right away.


Thank you, Jesus! Are you planning to catch the A Christmas Carol blog?


Oh, I wouldn't miss it. I'd love to bust that Atown-Liker's ass one of these days.

Monday, November 16, 2009

We must have the artifact




Our plans remain foiled.



We must have the artifact! Caw!




But we can no longer pass through to Parallel Time.

Bauer traveled to Parallel Time through a toilet.



But the crows hate water! Caw!


We must have the artifact! Caw!



But it is in Parallel Time, protected by penguins and a scarecrow.


We must have the artifact! Caw!